Imagine you’re an average goblin, living your life in your goblin lair, an abandoned tomb long stripped of HALLOWEEN NURSE PHLEBOTOMIST SHIRT former occupants. You make a living scavenging scraps from around the local village, eating worms and squirrels and the occasional rat. You killed an intruder in your lair once, but he came into your house armed and looking for trouble. You took his crossbow and ill-fitting helm, which you keep in your lair because you never know when it will happen again. But what you really want to do is stay out of sight and live your life. Then one night, a bunch of people show up and wander right into your home! There’s a dwarf, a human, a halfling, and a filthy, stinking elf! You grab your crossbow and your ill-fitting helm, and prepare to defend yourself again. Your first arrow buries itself in the dwarf’s shield. You dodge the human’s arrow, and the dwarf’s hammer blow. You lose sight of the halfling, while the disgusting elf blasts you in the chest with a bolt of what looks like white fire, which seemed to emanate from the cursed holy symbol around its ugly, misshapen neck. It burns and stings, and reeks of rotten elf magic.
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